Putting life into perspective

I have to admit I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately. Life has got me a little down. I am almost eight months pregnant with a very cranky toddler that only wants me to do things for her. During the week, my alarm rings at 5:15am in the morning and I drag my big belly into the shower to get ready for work, get my daughter ready for the day, drop her off at my Mom's, sit in about an hour and a half of traffic and finally arrive to work. All by 7:45am. My work day is a whirlwind of tending to crisis' in the classroom, counseling oppositional children and meeting with frustrated or anxious parents. Sometimes, I'm lucky enough to pull myself away from work long enough to take a walk outside. (Which I can't really do anymore because I waddle around like a penguin). Before I know it, it's time to sit in two hours of traffic on my way home, pick up my cranky and hungry daughter and head home to cook dinner, do dishes, give a bath, pack lunches, fix coffee and set my alarm to do it all over again the next day. Most days I am so exhausted I fall asleep on the couch before 9pm and need to be walked up to bed by my husband. On the weekends, my daughter is so excited to spend time with her Mommy, she greets me in my bed by 5:30am. My job is to comfort everyone else and make them less worried, anxious or depressed. I never feel as though I have enough time to give to anyone. Not my husband, my daughter, work, my friends or family. Because of that, I feel guilty if I crave a moment to myself. Life has got me down.

This past week, I was sitting in traffic on my way to work (feeling sorry for myself), flipping through the radio trying to find a song I hadn't heard 8 million times already in my commute. Since there were no good songs on and I couldn't bring myself to listen to "Roar" by Katy Perry one more time, I stopped to listen to a report about the government shutdown that was taking place that day. Thousands of workers were being told to stay home that day, without pay, because the government could not come to an agreement on something that I honestly have had no time to follow. "How awful for those people" I thought to myself. "Thank goodness that's not me. I don't know what we would do if I didn't have a job right now". I felt so sad for all of those innocent people who were caught in the middle of some political argument. In that moment I felt very grateful for my hour and a half commute.

Two days later, I had a conversation with someone whose mother is very ill. I could sense the fear and uncertainty in her voice as I tried to think of words that may comfort her. What do you say to a person who may lose one of the most important people in their life? As our conversation was ending, she asked me how I was doing. "I'm good", I said, realizing that despite feeling so sorry for myself lately, I really was.

In these moments this past week, I realized that I had been focusing on the few negative or stressful things in my life and forgetting to put the emphasis on all the positive and most important things. As I complain about a growing pregnant belly, I can name at least three people I know that have been trying for years to have a child. People who would give anything to be kept awake at night by the little kicks and movements inside their body. As I lose my patience with my cranky toddler, there are people out there who fear that their children will never speak, give them a hug or live to see the age of two. When I sit in my car for two hours in traffic, at least I have a job to head to, a paycheck to look forward to and money to pay my bills. I am blessed to have a job and one that I actually like. I was blessed with two uncomplicated pregnancies and absolutely no fertility issues. (Literally, my husband looks at me and I get pregnant). I am blessed with a healthy and amazing daughter, full of life and love. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who helps me with the chores at night and is an amazing father to our daughter. I am blessed with an amazing support system, filled with friends and family who would do anything for us, anytime. I have my health. My family has it's health. I have a beautiful home and a place to lay my head at night. Life has got me down but I have all of the things that really matter. I have lost perspective.

Sometimes we forget what is truly important and we let the everyday trials get in the way. It is human nature to get caught up in the stresses of life . Even though some others have problems much greater than ours, our challenges are still our own. They still make life difficult for us. We are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves once in a while. It is impossible to not let them get the best of us at times. What is important is that we recognize this and make a choice to turn it around. It's not easy, and as I write this I know that tomorrow I'm going to dread going to work or lose my patience with my daughter when she refuses to take a bath. None of us are perfect. But the reality is that you cannot control the hand you are dealt and you may not always like the path your life has taken. What we can control is our decision to change the way we think about our situation, try our hardest to appreciate what we do have and make the best of what life hands us. Sometimes life gets you down. It's entirely up to you to get back up.